*Any resemblances to real persons or events, past or present, are strictly coincidental.
Circa 1978
She: Honey, I think we were supposed to take that exit.
He: Are you sure?
She: Well, I’m looking at the atlas here and … boy, this is right on the edge of this page … here, I’ll look at the detail map on the next page.
He: Let me see that!
She: You drive! I’m navigating!
He: Are you sure you’re reading that right?
She: Gives him a dirty look. I’m telling you, it’s exit 174. Stabs atlas with finger. I can see it right here.
2014
She: Which exit am I supposed to take?
He: Look at my phone mounted on the dash. It shows you. Just follow the arrows.
She: I can’t see your phone. It’s too small and there’s a glare.
He: Here, I’ll set up my tablet instead. Several minutes pass. Oh shoot. My tablet is out of power. Let me find my charge cable. Rummages through large tote bag containing a tangled knot of chargers, cables, plugs, devices of all sorts. OK, here it is. Flurry of plugging and unplugging.
She: So which exit am I supposed to take?
He: Just a minute! Minutes tick by. OK, well, Google maps has us using a different route from Apple maps. Pinches the image in. Agh! Too small! Stop that, you dumb thing! Pinches the image out again. OK, let’s see… Well, I think we should take exit 174.
She: Yeah, that was miles ago.
* * *
Circa 1978
Dad: All right, I’ve been around the dial three times now. There is nothing on the radio out here in the boonies.
Mom: Let’s sing!
Small kid: Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, Ninety-nine bottles of beeeeeer!
Teenager: Shut up, dork!
Mom: Or we could play a game! How about the alphabet game? Or twenty questions?
Big kid: Look, it’s a “Watch for ice on bridge” sign! ABCEFGHI! Ha ha!
Small kid: No fair!
Big kid: Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall…
2014
Dad: All right! We’re on the highway now. What would we like to listen to together? I’ve got 27 audio books, 314 music playlists, and 67 podcasts on my phone. Or I could project YouTube videos on the car ceiling if I can rig up my laptop with the projector ap on the tablet, and then I could get audio by…, let’s see, …
Mom: (Driving.) Honey. Just stop. Kids, what would you like to listen to?
Kids: Barely perceptible twips and chutters of earbud noise, as each kid zones out in a private world created by a separate headphone/ipod set.
***
Circa 1978
She: I’m hungry. Is it time for lunch yet? Where shall we go?
He: Say, there’s a billboard advertising a truck stop with Marge’s Diner. Shall we take a chance and stop there?
She: Well, it’s hard to say when we’ll come across another restaurant on this lonely stretch. We had better do it.
2014
She: I’m hungry. Is it time for lunch yet? Where shall we go?
He: Let’s see. Tappita tappita tappita. Ok, Google maps says that in thirty miles there’s an exit with fifteen restaurants, including a Denny’s, an Applebee’s, a Noodles, and here’s an Italian restaurant.
She: Italian! That sounds good.
He: I’ll just look it up on TripAdvisor. Tappita tappita. Scroll scroll scroll. Yeah, no, never mind.
She: Where’s the nearest Chinese place?
He: Tappita tappita. Looks like forty-five miles, just off the interstate. Scroll scroll scroll. Gets good reviews, too. And they have free wireless!
She: Let’s do it.
***
Circa 1978
Parked on an exit ramp, Dad is peering under the hood, looking determined.
Dad: I think it’s the carburetor.
Mom: Are you sure? Shouldn’t we call Triple AAA?
Dad: Of course not! I can do this! Son, I think there’s a socket wrench in the trunk. Go get it and then crawl under the car with me to watch what I’m doing. Every man has to know how to fix a car!
2014
Parked on an exit ramp, Dad is peering under the hood while teen stands there with a tablet.
Dad: So what does the KIA website say?
Teenager: I went through FAQs, and that took me to the diagnostic page, which says we need part #24015-15A. And it has a link to the nearest place where we can get one.
Later, in the parking lot of the ginormous auto parts store in big-box world off the interstate.
Teenager: OK, I’ve got the instructional YouTube video up.
Dad: You sure that’s the one for replacing a running light on the 2011 Kia? That doesn’t look right.
Teenager: Oh yeah, that’s the 2010. Sorry. Hang on. Tap tap tap. Here you go.
Dad: That’s better. OK, hold it up so I can see.
***
Circa 1978
Kid: For the twentieth time. Are we there yet?
Parents: No!
2014
Parents: Sweetie! We’re here! Time to get out of the car!
Kid: Are we there already? I’ve still got twenty minutes left in this episode! I’ll just stay in the car and finish.
***
Circa 1978
Some place far from home in a distant state, at the end of many many miles of highway, the travelers at last arrive.
Travelers: We’re here!
Dear friends or family: Welcome! We’re so glad you’ve come!
2014
Some place far from home in a distant state, at the end of many many miles of highway, the travelers at last arrive.
Travelers: We’re here!
Dear friends or family: Welcome! We’re so glad you’ve come!
Thankfully, some things stay the same…
The American Road Trip: A Retrospective
*Any resemblances to real persons or events, past or present, are strictly coincidental.
Circa 1978
She: Honey, I think we were supposed to take that exit.
He: Are you sure?
She: Well, I’m looking at the atlas here and … boy, this is right on the edge of this page … here, I’ll look at the detail map on the next page.
He: Let me see that!
She: You drive! I’m navigating!
He: Are you sure you’re reading that right?
She: Gives him a dirty look. I’m telling you, it’s exit 174. Stabs atlas with finger. I can see it right here.
2014
She: Which exit am I supposed to take?
He: Look at my phone mounted on the dash. It shows you. Just follow the arrows.
She: I can’t see your phone. It’s too small and there’s a glare.
He: Here, I’ll set up my tablet instead. Several minutes pass. Oh shoot. My tablet is out of power. Let me find my charge cable. Rummages through large tote bag containing a tangled knot of chargers, cables, plugs, devices of all sorts. OK, here it is. Flurry of plugging and unplugging.
She: So which exit am I supposed to take?
He: Just a minute! Minutes tick by. OK, well, Google maps has us using a different route from Apple maps. Pinches the image in. Agh! Too small! Stop that, you dumb thing! Pinches the image out again. OK, let’s see… Well, I think we should take exit 174.
She: Yeah, that was miles ago.
Circa 1978
Dad: All right, I’ve been around the dial three times now. There is nothing on the radio out here in the boonies.
Mom: Let’s sing!
Small kid: Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, Ninety-nine bottles of beeeeeer!
Teenager: Shut up, dork!
Mom: Or we could play a game! How about the alphabet game? Or twenty questions?
Big kid: Look, it’s a “Watch for ice on bridge” sign! ABCEFGHI! Ha ha!
Small kid: No fair!
Big kid: Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall…
2014
Dad: All right! We’re on the highway now. What would we like to listen to together? I’ve got 27 audio books, 314 music playlists, and 67 podcasts on my phone. Or I could project YouTube videos on the car ceiling if I can rig up my laptop with the projector ap on the tablet, and then I could get audio by…, let’s see, …
Mom: (Driving.) Honey. Just stop. Kids, what would you like to listen to?
Kids: Barely perceptible twips and chutters of earbud noise, as each kid zones out in a private world created by a separate headphone/ipod set.
Circa 1978
She: I’m hungry. Is it time for lunch yet? Where shall we go?
He: Say, there’s a billboard advertising a truck stop with Marge’s Diner. Shall we take a chance and stop there?
She: Well, it’s hard to say when we’ll come across another restaurant on this lonely stretch. We had better do it.
2014
She: I’m hungry. Is it time for lunch yet? Where shall we go?
He: Let’s see. Tappita tappita tappita. Ok, Google maps says that in thirty miles there’s an exit with fifteen restaurants, including a Denny’s, an Applebee’s, a Noodles, and here’s an Italian restaurant.
She: Italian! That sounds good.
He: I’ll just look it up on TripAdvisor. Tappita tappita. Scroll scroll scroll. Yeah, no, never mind.
She: Where’s the nearest Chinese place?
He: Tappita tappita. Looks like forty-five miles, just off the interstate. Scroll scroll scroll. Gets good reviews, too. And they have free wireless!
She: Let’s do it.
***
Circa 1978
Parked on an exit ramp, Dad is peering under the hood, looking determined.
Dad: I think it’s the carburetor.
Mom: Are you sure? Shouldn’t we call Triple AAA?
Dad: Of course not! I can do this! Son, I think there’s a socket wrench in the trunk. Go get it and then crawl under the car with me to watch what I’m doing. Every man has to know how to fix a car!
2014
Parked on an exit ramp, Dad is peering under the hood while teen stands there with a tablet.
Dad: So what does the KIA website say?
Teenager: I went through FAQs, and that took me to the diagnostic page, which says we need part #24015-15A. And it has a link to the nearest place where we can get one.
Later, in the parking lot of the ginormous auto parts store in big-box world off the interstate.
Teenager: OK, I’ve got the instructional YouTube video up.
Dad: You sure that’s the one for replacing a running light on the 2011 Kia? That doesn’t look right.
Teenager: Oh yeah, that’s the 2010. Sorry. Hang on. Tap tap tap. Here you go.
Dad: That’s better. OK, hold it up so I can see.
Circa 1978
Kid: For the twentieth time. Are we there yet?
Parents: No!
2014
Parents: Sweetie! We’re here! Time to get out of the car!
Kid: Are we there already? I’ve still got twenty minutes left in this episode! I’ll just stay in the car and finish.
***
Circa 1978
Some place far from home in a distant state, at the end of many many miles of highway, the travelers at last arrive.
Travelers: We’re here!
Dear friends or family: Welcome! We’re so glad you’ve come!
2014
Some place far from home in a distant state, at the end of many many miles of highway, the travelers at last arrive.
Travelers: We’re here!
Dear friends or family: Welcome! We’re so glad you’ve come!
Thankfully, some things stay the same…
#32 It All Started with Styrofoam Cups: Judy Hinck and Mount Olive Lutheran
It All Started with Styrofoam Cups: Judy Hinck and Mount Olive Lutheran
The Enemy Within
The wan plea Why can’t we all just get along? seems trivial and stupid, but it’s actually a good question, one humans have been asking since forever. Maybe the rock-bottom answer is always the same: the primordial sin plaguing us since Cain and Abel. Kin-conflict, kin-hatred, kin-violence.
Third Act/ Third Act Faith
For people over 60 (or close to it–no one checks!). Fantastic leaders with loads of organizing experience, savvy, creativity, and joy. The group focuses on
On Cicadas, Parasites, and Creepy, Slimy Things
I noticed that the way we spoke about nature almost always celebrated beautiful aspects, typically in general terms: mountains, clouds, wildflowers, sunsets, that sort of thing. We did not discuss parasitic wasps at all, or STI-infected cicadas.